The Thoughts I Couldn't Get Out of My Mind..

Originally written 11/12/2009 09:17:27 AM

2 Timothy 1:7 (New International Version)

7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7 (Amplified Bible)

7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.

I love that. The words of the different versions of the different bibles may be different but meaning is the same. For many years, I have been searching for a verse that I can relate to. There are so many in the Bible for me to choose from and each one of them have great meanings. Something about 2 Timothy 1:7 really jumped out at me.

Balance and discipline and self control have never been something I felt I had within me. In fact, anyone who knows me will say those are 3 facets of my life that don't even exist. HOWEVER, I do know that these are things that are desperately needed in my life in order for me to succeed and be the person God created me to be. There it is, in black and white. The 3 things I spent my life looking for. The 3 gifts I kept insisting I didn't have. The 3 traits I would say never existed in me.

I was wrong. God gave me these items as a gift. He gave them to me and they have been inside of me this whole time. My problem was, I didn't know. I didn't want to know. Knowing would mean that I would need to listen to God. Knowing meant I had to grow spiritually and Knowing meant I had to walk in the word each and every day.

That meant I had to deal with things in me that I didn't want to deal with. It meant that I had to totally see myself through God's eyes. I had to see myself for what I was, what I am and what I can be.

God has given me power over my life. Power of my decisions. Power over my thoughts, Power over my mind. I do not have to fear. I do not have to doubt, I do not have to feel like I'm loosing my mind. What I have to do is believe in myself the way God believes in me. To love myself the way God loves me. To Love others the way God loves me.

I can be successful. I am worth something and I am loved. I think I still battle bouts of depression. I still fail and have my moments...but every day I spend time, just listening to what God is trying to tell me, the more I tend to make better choices...