More Ramblings from a Guilty Concious...
"Don't worry about the ones you can't save, rather, use that energy and worry about the ones you can!" For anyone that has been invovled in animal rescue, this phrase should sound familiar. I have heard it so many times it makes my head spin, but yet, it is the hardest phrase to get out of my head.....and I think adhere to. Up until today, the true meaning hadn't really even sunk in.
I am a mom and a wife and proud owner of 3 dogs and 2 cats...all rescues. Which is why the decision to foster was not one that I made lightly...or did I? I had been talking about it for years but my husband always said no...there was always plenty of excuses as to why we couldn't: Time, Money, Room...but finally, there were no more excuses. So, I finally said yes...much to his chergrin (mistake, to be honest.) For anyone thinking of fostering and is part of a family, It is VITAL that all family memebers be 100% supportive and in favor of the idea...no matter what the age. Fostering will affect everyone emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.
I have been involved in fostering and animal rescue actively now, for about a year. Everyone has always told me I have had a gift with animals and Lord knows, he certainly has blessed me with a love for them. But not just a love, but a healthy respect. When a person decides to foster, there is always a risk. For me, the risk was that my daughter, my husband, myself, my animals could be hurt. The one thing life has taught me is that you never underestimate people or animals...both are capable of anything at anytime. That doesn't mean that you always have to be on guard, but that you have to just be aware.
Anyway, The first couple were pretty easy. Then, once the rescue director learned my strengths and weaknesses, she was able to better understand what type of dog would do well in our house. For some reason, we tended to attract the fearful and untrusting. We spent a lot of time with these animals just taking it minute by minute. I give credit for my successes to my pack...my dogs as I feel they did most of the rehabbing...and I give credit for my not so successful results to my poor judgement or lack thereof.
IT was because of these poor judgement calls on my part that I find myself up at 2am writing this. You see, because of my mistake, our foster dog had to be put down and my dog spent 36 hours in Animal Emergency this weekend and is now at home with drain tubes. I won't go into detail, but I do need to talk about what happened to a community of people that understand.
about 3 weeks ago, I had to pick up our foster from our local animal control. I had no history other than in March of last year, she was adopted out through our sister rescue in another part of the state. Somehow, she had made her way back to our city and was found running loose on our local army post. Because she was considered a "dangerous breed", she was immediately picked up.
I brought her home and slowly went through the steps of introduction and getting her set up. Each day was getting better for her. She was energetic, happy and just wanted to please. Afterall, isn't that the heart of Pit Bull? Dogs with Hearts bigger than their brains? She showed no sign of being a "red zone" case, however that didn't mean that she was. She was seperated when we were not at home and was allowed to be with us only when we were home. She was donig exceptionally well...but just needed to be taught "manners". IT was obvious that she had no socialization whatsoever with people or other dogs...but she was eager to learn..maybe a little over eager...
Friday night I came home to a nightmare. Somehow, in our rush to get out of the house and to my daughters Christmas pagent, I neglected to put her upstairs in the spare room where her crate is. It was that split second decision...the distraction and the not thinking that caused this poor girl her life. We came home Friday night, after dropping our daughter off with Grandma for the weekend to what looked like a murder scene. There was blood everywhere. I have to admit...I was an instant flood of emotions, panic, fear, and instintaneous guilt...because as soon as I walked in the house, I realised what I had forgotten to do.
Hershey, our dog got rushed to the Animal Emergency Hospital. The Foster seemed only to have superficial wounds....What appeared to happen (of course, this is only speculation) is that "Little Girl" must have irritated Hershey and Hershey (who we nickname "House Mom") treid to teach a lesson in manners. However, the lesson went ary...
The Vet said the wounds on Hershey didn't appear to be caused by aggressive actions...There were no rips or tears or bite marks that seemed to be made in an attacking style. Because of the location of the wounds on Hershey's chest and front arms, The Vet seemed to say what I had been thinking...Hershey was standing over Little Girl to show who was boss, and Little Girl, feeling afraid, defended in the only way she new how...problem was, Little Girl was young and had sharper teeth. Hershey outweighed her by a good 40lbs but Hershey is 9...and well, I would like to say non aggressive. Looking at Little Girls' wounds the next day, the Vet said, they were really super ficial and IF Hershey had wanted to, she could have really caused some major harm...
But anyway, that really isn't the point of this story. Our city, as big as it is, doesn't have a lot of Agression wise trainers. My best friend (who is like my brother) is the only really well known agression wise trainer here. He is the one that ALL the rescues in town turn to when they have a "red zone" case. But, he and his wife live in a really tiny home with 9 dogs and 14 cats...all of witch are rescues. 7 of the 9 dogs are theres...the other 2 are fosters. Why so many dogs? because they were all considered "Unadoptable" and "Aggressive". Mike has been able to work with them all so that they are all healthy pack members now.
But, unfortunately, he is at his capacity. So is our rescue. Anytime something like this happens in a foster home, we immediately remove the foster dog. The problem was, for Little Girl...this was her 3rd strike. We were her last hope.,..and I didn't know that until the director made the decision to put her down. They never tell me the history about the dogs until the dog has been adopted...which I guess is wise. Anyway, Because we had no room...no foster homes available...and because of her breed (Not many people here want to foster stronger breeds nor are they equipped with enough training to understand the breeds) we are caught between a rock and a hard place. So, the decision was made.
I really struggle with this...mostly because of the fact that she had potential..I could see it...But, it was obvious, that although everyone else felt I was ready, this one mistake resulted in something horrible.
So...I guess what I am trying to say is The ones that we can't save are the ones that break my heart the most. It's the ones that I see at night when I close my eyes and they're the ones that seem to stick around in my brain the most....BUT...IT's the ones that I can save that make this whole thing worthwhile. They are the ones that taught me to live in the moment.
So..for anyone thinking of fostering...please know that it isn't easy...this is not something that you do to make yourself feel better...this is not about you and what you want to complete your life...it is about the life of the animal that is depending on you to show them the way. Mistakes are made...we are human...but there are consequences to each one so know what you are getting in to. It can be the most worthwhile thing you will ever do.
I am a mom and a wife and proud owner of 3 dogs and 2 cats...all rescues. Which is why the decision to foster was not one that I made lightly...or did I? I had been talking about it for years but my husband always said no...there was always plenty of excuses as to why we couldn't: Time, Money, Room...but finally, there were no more excuses. So, I finally said yes...much to his chergrin (mistake, to be honest.) For anyone thinking of fostering and is part of a family, It is VITAL that all family memebers be 100% supportive and in favor of the idea...no matter what the age. Fostering will affect everyone emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.
I have been involved in fostering and animal rescue actively now, for about a year. Everyone has always told me I have had a gift with animals and Lord knows, he certainly has blessed me with a love for them. But not just a love, but a healthy respect. When a person decides to foster, there is always a risk. For me, the risk was that my daughter, my husband, myself, my animals could be hurt. The one thing life has taught me is that you never underestimate people or animals...both are capable of anything at anytime. That doesn't mean that you always have to be on guard, but that you have to just be aware.
Anyway, The first couple were pretty easy. Then, once the rescue director learned my strengths and weaknesses, she was able to better understand what type of dog would do well in our house. For some reason, we tended to attract the fearful and untrusting. We spent a lot of time with these animals just taking it minute by minute. I give credit for my successes to my pack...my dogs as I feel they did most of the rehabbing...and I give credit for my not so successful results to my poor judgement or lack thereof.
IT was because of these poor judgement calls on my part that I find myself up at 2am writing this. You see, because of my mistake, our foster dog had to be put down and my dog spent 36 hours in Animal Emergency this weekend and is now at home with drain tubes. I won't go into detail, but I do need to talk about what happened to a community of people that understand.
about 3 weeks ago, I had to pick up our foster from our local animal control. I had no history other than in March of last year, she was adopted out through our sister rescue in another part of the state. Somehow, she had made her way back to our city and was found running loose on our local army post. Because she was considered a "dangerous breed", she was immediately picked up.
I brought her home and slowly went through the steps of introduction and getting her set up. Each day was getting better for her. She was energetic, happy and just wanted to please. Afterall, isn't that the heart of Pit Bull? Dogs with Hearts bigger than their brains? She showed no sign of being a "red zone" case, however that didn't mean that she was. She was seperated when we were not at home and was allowed to be with us only when we were home. She was donig exceptionally well...but just needed to be taught "manners". IT was obvious that she had no socialization whatsoever with people or other dogs...but she was eager to learn..maybe a little over eager...
Friday night I came home to a nightmare. Somehow, in our rush to get out of the house and to my daughters Christmas pagent, I neglected to put her upstairs in the spare room where her crate is. It was that split second decision...the distraction and the not thinking that caused this poor girl her life. We came home Friday night, after dropping our daughter off with Grandma for the weekend to what looked like a murder scene. There was blood everywhere. I have to admit...I was an instant flood of emotions, panic, fear, and instintaneous guilt...because as soon as I walked in the house, I realised what I had forgotten to do.
Hershey, our dog got rushed to the Animal Emergency Hospital. The Foster seemed only to have superficial wounds....What appeared to happen (of course, this is only speculation) is that "Little Girl" must have irritated Hershey and Hershey (who we nickname "House Mom") treid to teach a lesson in manners. However, the lesson went ary...
The Vet said the wounds on Hershey didn't appear to be caused by aggressive actions...There were no rips or tears or bite marks that seemed to be made in an attacking style. Because of the location of the wounds on Hershey's chest and front arms, The Vet seemed to say what I had been thinking...Hershey was standing over Little Girl to show who was boss, and Little Girl, feeling afraid, defended in the only way she new how...problem was, Little Girl was young and had sharper teeth. Hershey outweighed her by a good 40lbs but Hershey is 9...and well, I would like to say non aggressive. Looking at Little Girls' wounds the next day, the Vet said, they were really super ficial and IF Hershey had wanted to, she could have really caused some major harm...
But anyway, that really isn't the point of this story. Our city, as big as it is, doesn't have a lot of Agression wise trainers. My best friend (who is like my brother) is the only really well known agression wise trainer here. He is the one that ALL the rescues in town turn to when they have a "red zone" case. But, he and his wife live in a really tiny home with 9 dogs and 14 cats...all of witch are rescues. 7 of the 9 dogs are theres...the other 2 are fosters. Why so many dogs? because they were all considered "Unadoptable" and "Aggressive". Mike has been able to work with them all so that they are all healthy pack members now.
But, unfortunately, he is at his capacity. So is our rescue. Anytime something like this happens in a foster home, we immediately remove the foster dog. The problem was, for Little Girl...this was her 3rd strike. We were her last hope.,..and I didn't know that until the director made the decision to put her down. They never tell me the history about the dogs until the dog has been adopted...which I guess is wise. Anyway, Because we had no room...no foster homes available...and because of her breed (Not many people here want to foster stronger breeds nor are they equipped with enough training to understand the breeds) we are caught between a rock and a hard place. So, the decision was made.
I really struggle with this...mostly because of the fact that she had potential..I could see it...But, it was obvious, that although everyone else felt I was ready, this one mistake resulted in something horrible.
So...I guess what I am trying to say is The ones that we can't save are the ones that break my heart the most. It's the ones that I see at night when I close my eyes and they're the ones that seem to stick around in my brain the most....BUT...IT's the ones that I can save that make this whole thing worthwhile. They are the ones that taught me to live in the moment.
So..for anyone thinking of fostering...please know that it isn't easy...this is not something that you do to make yourself feel better...this is not about you and what you want to complete your life...it is about the life of the animal that is depending on you to show them the way. Mistakes are made...we are human...but there are consequences to each one so know what you are getting in to. It can be the most worthwhile thing you will ever do.
Little Girl and Jethro..sleeping peacefully after a day of play!
Hershey...Afterwards...
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