My Thought for the day...1/1/2010

My Thought for the day...1/1/2010

by Darci Escandon on Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 3:38am

Ok, so it's 2:43 in the morning of January 2nd not January 1st which makes me a bit late starting, but, as they say, better late than never, right? Late for what you ask? Well, as you know, 2009 was a bittersweet year for me. I finally had to admit to myself that I was going through a rough time. I begged and pleaded with God to get me through things, and with his strength, I did. I'm not saying it was easy in any sense of the word, but my family and I survived and are still surrounded with the love from friends and family that many people only dream about. So what does that have to do with what I am writing to you about? God has placed it in my heart to share these thoughts with you. So, here it goes....Please forgive me as I am sure it may be a rather long read...(Insert warning here...CAUTION, POSSIBLE LONG READ)

everything. I feel that God placed it on my heart that my "New Years resolution" be that I spend 30 minutes every day with him. Uninterupted just me and God time. I was kind of excited about this...I went looking for a new journal and bible study and devotional software...of course I didn't find any nor did I buy anything...I realise now that everything God wants me to learn will come in that 30 minutes a day I sit quietly in his presence.

I don't really need the thoughts and words from a bible study series based on what I think God is trying to say to me...What I need to do is just sit in his presence and let his word guide me to what he wants me to learn. I'm not saying that i don't need to listen to a Beth Moore 6 week session or Creflo Dollar 6 week session on one particular topic, but rather, i need to open my heart, sit down and listen. Let God's words flow through me, into my heart and mind....and that is what I am doing now.

I recognize now that I am restless...because I am not a peace..I am not at peace because I didn't uphold my commitment to God...and now, because I have a concious and I have learned to recognise when I think I feel the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention...I can no longer "blow off" what needs to be done now, until morning so that I can get a few hours of sleep.

Even as i write this to you all, I am feeling more and more at peace. So, without further ado, I would like to share with you, what God has brought to my attention today. It's an article titled "If Teacups Could Talk" ( http://www.libertyonlineministries.com/index.cfm?PID=16021 ) by Kathy Helvey.

The thing that jumped out at me was this paragraph:

"But there is a difference between a cup of tea and life. When we brew tea ourselves, we can put it aside or throw it away if it's not to our liking. That's not so with life's cup of tea. We have to drink it. How we go about swallowing those difficult cups of life depends upon what we know and believe about the nature of our life's "tea strainer."

I had to read more. Why? Because since August, It seems as I have been having to swallow one difficult cup of tea aftear another! Not only that, but over the course of a few years (especially more in the past few months), I find myself wanting to turn to a cup of tea more and more for relaxation and calmness rather than a glass of wine or a beer. A cup of hot Tea has become my "drink of choice" and just yesterday I was telling Leo how much I would like an old fashioned teapot that has the strainer built in so that I can use loose tea...wow...Don't you love how God will plant something in your heart and mind to be used at a later time??

Anyway, I digress..I read the passage part about "A Bitter Brew". Boy, can I relate to the past part of it when the author wrote:

My cup was a very bitter brew, and I didn't like it one bit! There was absolutely no sugar in it, and I certainly didn't relax and enjoy it."

Those 2 sentences perfectly describe and sum up my last 4 months. Well, feelingwise anyway...I had to keep reading...and here it was...my "Woah" moment:

"I am the Lord your God. I go before you, I am with you, and I'll never leave you or fail you. Do not be discouraged or afraid" (Deuteronomy 31:8)."

Do not be discouraged or afraid...wow...I have been both lately...more so afraid, anxious, nervous and ancy than discouraged. The discouragement comes and goes...but it's the anxiety and the fear that seem to be lingering in my mind and soul. In fact, that is what caused me to write this letter rather than try and go back to sleep...so you can imagine how much this verse jumped out at me...it is like God was talking directly to me.

I had to keep reading (there are only 3 more paragraphs left...) I felt like God was reaching out to comfor me. So many different emotions I have been experiencing and a few words in a short article seemed to just put me at ease. It was the promise that you hear about in church...the promise that you hear people talk about on the streets, in coffee shops and on the street...people meaning Christians. The promise of God's love and comfort. Wow...as I have opened up my mind and my heart to God over these past few years...I have learned so much. Just in exploring my own personal relationship with him...not what the church wants me to hear or do or what my Christian friends want me to feel or think...but rather, that personal bond I am developing little by little over time with God. I realise now, why it never happend before and why I was such a sceptic (and for those of you who know me and my story, you know i have not always been a Christian and strong in my faith or belief system). Something happened when I opened up my heart and said ok...let's give this thing a good, honest solid try...afterall, if it isn't as real as they say it is and it doesn't work for me, then what do I have to loose? I won't be any worse off than I was before!!! Anyway, I am rambling now...back to the article..

I read and have to share this paragraph with you:

"Now, will I be discouraged or afraid to drink life's cup at times? Oh yes! But I don't have to be … because now I know and believe in the nature of my life's tea strainer. I also have the confidence that as I drink, even though I can't taste the goodness of it, or understand the why of what's in my cup, in the end I know it will be good for me. I don't have to be discouraged or afraid because it's all been "Father filtered" from a loving, wise, sovereign God."

Life happens. Crap happens. It's not all a bed of roses. Sometimes, life can be just downright ugly. A Bitter cup of tea to swallow. I will feel discouraged, fear, anxiety, depression, sadness, anger, resentment...all these different emotions...I am human afterall. But I like what she said here. IT's like she is saying "I can feel it, but I don't have to be it."

I am not going to live my life with blinders on. Just because I have become a Christian and developed a belief system does not mean that my life will be a bed of roses. Quite the contrary. Nothing has changed in my feelings with the exception of I am now learning to recognize them when they come up rather than just push them down inside and...most importanly...i am learning that i don't have to become what I feel. I don't have to let my emotions rule my life and dictate how I am going to live it. If my life were a teacup, I think it would be one made of fine china....with cracks, chips, faded color, crackled finish, broken handles....BUT...it would still hold the tea...and for me, that tea now, is God's word.

Everyone's tea is different. Not all of us have the same belief system. Not all of us are Christians and i want you to know that I respect that. these thoughts were not set out to save anyones soul or force anything on anyone. But Christian or not, Believer or Not, we all have one thing in common. our lives are all like teacups waiting to be filled with Tea. We will all enjoy hot tea, cold tea, luke warm tea, sweet tea and bitter tea. My question to you is, what kind of tea do you fill your cup with? How do you sweeten it to make it easier to swallow?