I'm in a funk. I feel defeated and overwhelmed. Ugh, sometimes I just feel like throwing my hands up in the air and say "Ok God, I give up!!!" and actually, I probably should. I should yell at the top of my lungs "God I give up, I can't do this anymore on my own….I put all of this stuff in my life into your hands." Which, by the way, I just did….As I sit hear feeling defeated, especially when it comes to my exercise goals, I need to first write up what I know.
I know that my cries haven't fallen onto deaf ears. I'm not alone. Here is what I know. Matthew 6 is full of instruction about worry.
- I am to cast my worries and anxieties on the Lord
- I should not spend my time in worry
- The Lord will not lead me or forsake me
- The Lord knows the plans he has for me. (Jer 29:11)
- For God did not give me the spirit of Fear, but of Power Love and a Sound Mind. (2 Tim 1:7)
Like Joshua, I have had victory after victory after victory in my life. But I feel like right now, I am flat on my face in defeat!!! Now, a look at what I feel…As I walk into the kitchen and see the mess, then into the living room and see that mess, I feel overwhelmed and defeated. Didn't I just clean this up? How did it become such a mess so quickly? Why am I the only one who really cares about how the house looks? But I guess I don't care enough because I just feel like giving up on it! I feel defeated. Defeated in my marriage, in my role as a mom and wife, in my desires and my dreams, my finances and friendships. My passion has disappeared! Where did it go? I mean, I don't feel depressed or like crying..just frustrated and defeated.
I looked up the word defeat in the Concise Oxford English Dictionary, and this is what it says about the word: " prevent the achievement of (an aim): this defeats the object of the exercise." Did it have to say exercise? Really? Lord, you had to put that word in part of the definition?
As a Christian Woman, I should not be living a life full of defeat. Everyone around me says I have a lot on my plate, but I don't see that. Why? Is my brain just protecting me from the chaos that life has been giving me lately?
I just read something interesting:
It's the defeat more than anything else that hurts you! Defeat is always the hardest thing for you to stand, even in trifles. But don't you know that we have to be defeated in order to succeed? Most of us spend half our lives fighting for things that would only destroy us if we got them. A man who has never been defeated is usually a man who has been ruined.
—J. L. Allen
Wow. What an eye opener. I have always said to other people, that you can't appreciate the light until you have walked in the darkness. "Most of us spend our lives fighting for things that would only destroy us if we got them." Wow. Is that what I am doing? Fighting for something that would only destroy me if I achieved it? What am I fighting for? What am I placing my thoughts on?
Having a defeated attitude is allowing myself to swim in defeated thoughts. After all, everything starts with a thought…so what thoughts am I allowing into my mind? What thoughts are racing around in my head and what thoughts are keeping me up at night? That's where that defeat is coming from. Satan doesn't want me to be full of passion for anything except negative emotions…if he can keep me down, then God can't help me up…but guess what, no matter how hard Satan tries, My God is stronger. He can life me out of anything…and he has done this time and time again in my life.
Joshua 7:10 says "10 The Lord said to Joshua, "Stand up! What are you doing down on your face?" (I think I need to replace Joshua's name with mine) Israel had just been defeated I battle with Ai. They had been defeated because of their choices and their actions. Yet, God was calling out to Joshua who was feeling total defeat and despair and told him something important "That is why the Israelites cannot stand against their enemies; they turn their backs and run because they have been made liable to destruction. I will not be with you anymore unless you destroy whatever among you is devoted to destruction. I will not be with you anymore unless you destroy whatever among you is devoted to destruction." (Joshua 7:12) God then goes on and gives Joshua instruction as to how to defeat his enemies.
I didn't realize this until now, just how much I can relate to Joshua. When I look at his life, I see so many similarities and when I read the following, I felt like God was speaking into my life. This is how Joshua must get up off his face. RF Campbell puts it into perfect perspective:
A. Joshua Must Stop Questioning God's Character (v. 7)
1. "Alas, O Lord God, wherefore hast thou?"
2. Something goes wrong and he blames God
3. Consider the good things God had done (what would my list of good things look like?)
a. Sent Moses to bring them out of Egypt (Ex. 3)
b. Opened the Red Sea for them (Ex. 14)
c. Fed them with manna when they were hungry (Ex. 16)
d. Gave them water from a rock (Ex. 17)
e. Led them across the flooded Jordan (Josh. 3)
f. Enabled them to conquer mighty Jericho (Josh. 6)
4. Now after one defeat … Joshua blames God
5. Think of all God has done for us: loved us, gave His Son for us, offers us salvation by faith, receives us when we come to Him
6. How can we blame God for defeats?
B. Joshua Must Stop Focusing on This One Defeat (v. 8)
1. Think of all the blessings already given
2. Think of all the blessings promised for the future
a. Promises given to Abraham for his descendants (Gen. 12:1–3)
b. Promises given to Moses for the people (Ex. 3:7–10)
c. Promises given to Joshua (Josh. 1:1–9)
3. Joshua had become problem-conscious instead of power-conscious
4. In spite of blessings and promises, he focused on one defeat
5. He must forget this defeat and expect victory (Phil. 3:13–14)
C. Joshua Must Stop Worrying About Public Opinion (v. 9)
1. "For the Canaanites … shall hear of it"
2. God will take care of His own reputation
3. God will lift up His people when they are down
4. God has brought victory to many defeated ones
For me, this means that
A. Darci must Stop Questioning God's Character. I want to say I never do that, but in thinking long and hard about it… I do. When I allow these thoughts to invade my mind, I am giving power to the negative and not to God. When I try and do things on my own, I am not allowing God to do his work in me. I'm not in a place where I blame God for my poor choices, but I do blame myself and find myself buried I guilt. That's is not a spirit of God. I'm not thinking about all the good things God has done in my life like I used to. I feel like I am absorbing all the negative defeatist attitudes of the people around me…those that are closest to me which makes me thing I may have to change my surroundings when it comes to those relationships….but what if one of those relationships is your spouse? That's what I 'll have to turn over to God.
B. Darci Must Stop Focusing on This One Defeat. It's so easy to focus on what is going on without allowing yourself to think about all the good stuff. This is only a season…it will not last forever. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me so why am I not allowing him to strengthen my thoughts???
C. Darci Must Stop Worrying About Public Opinion. This public opinion that has such a huge affect in my life is my husband's. But he lives in a defeatist mentality. Always concentrating on the negative, not allowing him to see past his nose. But, im giving power to that attitude by developing it myself, rather than walking with God and allowing God to fix my thoughts.
Eventually, Joshua does rise up and defeats the armies and leads his people into the promised lands.
In his letters to the exiles, Jeremiah said to them in chapter 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Even when Joshua was defeated, even when the exiles were feeling defeated, God still spoke to them. He didn't sugar coat anything or tell them everything would be sunshine and roses. He told them that they had to deal with the consequences of their actions and choices, but that season would end and he would bring them out of the captivity they had found them in. He encouraged them and instructed them on how to live life during that captivity so that they wouldn't allow themselves to get defeated again.
God knows my life. He knows my heart and he hears my cries. My focus must be on the task at hand and that is renewing my mind, repenting for the things I have done wrong and turning to my Lord for guidance, instruction and help in renewing my mind!
"7 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. "
What better way to face the day… Thanks be to God!! HE does give us VICTORY!!! Amen!
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