Before I start into my Bible Study, I want to share 2 Timothy 1:7. "For God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of Power, Love and a Sound Mind". Lately, as I am trying to rebuild my realtionship with God, I have been feeling a lot of anxiety. It always happens around my period, but for some reason, this week is worse than the rest. I don't know where it is coming from or why I feel like crying sometimes for no reason. My life is going well. I have a husband and family that love me. Our finances are getting back in order and my life is getting back on track. So, why do I feel anxious, worried and depressed? Why do I feel I am loosing my mind?? Ok, loosing my control of my emotions?? Please lift this up in prayer. God did not give this spirit of fear to me.
Acts 28. 20. ".....It is because of the hope of Israel that I am bound wth this chain. " Paul is in Rome. He is imprisoned. in Verse 31 it says "Boldly without hinderance he preache the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Chris". Paul was not anxious nor worried. Even in his circumstaces, he praise God's name and spread the word to others around him. He was never alone.
My grief and anxieties are nothing compared to Paul. The Lord is with me. He has never left me or forsaken me. So, where are these emotions coming from? Why this anxiety?
There are 10 verses in the Bible that talk about worry:
Gen 7:16..Dont worry about the details we have no control of. Let God worry about the details.
Gen 21:7..Worry can cause us to forfit our peace with God. IS this why I am full of anxiety?? God wants to give me peace.
Ps 37:8-9 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-- it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.
That's it. Since getting back home from Albuquerque, I let anger fill me. Idid become full of wrath and anger. I was ready to leave my husband and blame him for all my suffering. I was choosing to wallow in my anger and I allowed it to consume me. By doig this, I drifted farther and farther away from God. I didn't go to church for 2 weeks nor did I pick up my Bible to read and I was all ready to pack up Karmann and leave. I had felt anger like I used to know many, many years ago. But, this time, it was different. Becaue this time, there was a tiny speck of me, the me that loved my God that held on and kept fighting. Anger literally wore me out. My anxiety and feelings of dread are what's left after choosing to look to God for guidance and instruction. IT was a battle going on in my mind and in my heart. This is exactly what the devil wants to happen. No More. Renewing my mind is a daily battle. These feelings stem from thoughts I allowed to fester. No more. I will put on my armor of God:
The Belt of truth: Satan fights with lies and sometimes his lies sound like tuth; but only believers have God's truth, which can defeat Satan's lies. God's truth is that he loves my husband. He Chose Leo for me. I am to be Leo's Christian example which means forgivenss... not just 7 times, but 70 times 7 times.
The Breastplate of righteousness The devil often attacks our heart--- the seat of our emotions, self worth and trust. God's righteousness is the breastplate tha protects our heart and ensures his approval. He approves of us because he loves us and sent his so to die for us. By not keeping in the word, I had taken off my breastplate. That allowed the devil to attack my heart and mess with my emotions. And what an attack he made!!
The Footgear for Readiness to spread the Good News. Satan wants us to think that telling others the Good News is worthles and hopeless task. The size of the task is too ig and the negativ responss are too much to handle. But the footgear Go gives us is the motivaton to continue to prolaim the true peace that is available in God--news eveyrone needs to hear. I no longer felt like posting up bible verses or encouraging others on facebook. In fact, I had the opportunity to tell Leo how he could get hope and talk to him about God and I stayed quiet. I didn't say anything because my thoughts told me that it was useless because he wasn't going to listen to it anyway, his heart wasn't ready...but I see now that those are lies...big lies... No one who knows me can doubt that God exists after seeing where he has brought me to. My life should stand as hope against the darkenss. I survived so that I can share this hope with others...but by listening to the doubts in my mind, I kept my mouth shut. No more...
The Shield of Faith. What we see are Satan's attacks in the form of insults, setbacks and temptations. But, the shield of faith protects us from Satan's flaming arrow's. With God's perspective, we can see beyond our circumstances and know that ultimate victory is ours. SELAH! When I got home from spending a month away, I felt likeI was getting nothing but insults and setbacks and temptations. I blamed my husband for that. But, as a non believer, it is easy for Satan to use him to get to me. He doesn't understand faith. But, I do. I understand how it works. And, I fell for it. I let my shield down. By doing that, I blamed everything on my husband. It was all his fault. Blame is a HUGE emotion...and one that will allow us to excuse our behavior when we know it's wrong. But, no more. My shield is back up!!
The Helmet of Salvation...Satan wants to make us doubt God, JEsus and our salvation. The helmet protects our mind from doubting God's saving work for us. Doubt is HUGE when it comes to depression. Afterall, that's where i all starts...doubting ourselves, doubting our abilities. Doubt can have a HUGE controlling effect on our outlook.It can make us see things that aren't there. It can cause us to think somthing is bigger than it is.
and finally:
The Sword...the word of God. The sword is the only weapon of offense in this list of armor. There are times when we need to take the offensive against Satan. When we are tempted, we need to trust in he truth of the word of God. The Bible says that the truth will set you free. And, indeed it does. It doesn't free you from battle or free you from life's circumstances, but it frees you from the lonliness that trying to fight a battle on your own can bring. Many times, I say to myself that I have no one to talk to. I can't pick up the phone and talk to someone about my feelings...but the truth is, God is always near. I can talk to him first and he listens. He speaks the truth.
When I started this letter, I was full of anxiety and worry. After turning to the word of God and knowing the truth, the anxiety and worry and other emotions are passing. I know they will be back, they always are...but this time, I am ready. I have on my armor of God. I know where to look in the Bible to see what it is God wants me to see about any situation. I can rest in peace and comfort knowing that I a his child ad he is with me always!!
So, the world may do what it may. I have the "...Power of PEACE, LOVE and a SOUND MIND!!!"
Thank you Lord, I praise your name!!!
