Romans chapter 7:13-25

14-16 "¹⁴We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. ¹⁵I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good."

I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

17-20 ^"17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^c]">[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. "

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

21-23 "²¹So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²²For in my inner being I delight in God's law; ²³but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members."

It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

24 "²⁴What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"

I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

25 "²⁵Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

2nd Chances....

2nd Chances.....

by Darci Escandon on Tuesday, April 6, 2010 at 9:38am

I just read something Beth Morroe wrote...actually, it was a question she posted in one of her recent blogs ( http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/2010/01/innocence.html )

What would it be like to know that you sinned but there was no way to be forgiven?

Wow. That was such a profound question. Especially, because it hit home. 2009 was a rough year...well, actually, the last 4 months were really rough. It was especially rough on the animals of the house. In November, the week before Thanksgiving, my daughter and I came home to a horrible discovery. 2 of our dogs had managed to shut themselves up in her (our daughter) room and had managed to kill the one of our 3 family cats. I won't go into details, but it was a pretty grizzly scene.

I did what I could to help Karmann through the ordeal, afterall, this cat was her buddy, her pal. Thankfully, I have beautiful and wonderful friends who were able to come over and help me clean up the mess.

Then, on December 11th, My husband and I came home late to what looked like a murder scene. Our dog and our foster dog got into a scuffle and our dog had to be rushed to the Animal Emergency Center. The foster appeared to be ok so we just cleaned her up and made her comfortable. Early the following morning we took her to the Vet and had (The rescue that is) to make the hard choice to put her (the foster dog) to sleep. Her injuries were worse than we originally imagined.

Our dog (and our family) had to go through an aweful ordeal for a while and again, we were blessed with beautiful and wonderful friends that helped us get through that period, financially, emotionally, mentally, physically....

By that time, I was drowing in guilt because I felt I as responsible. If I had shut the cats up away from the dogs, none of this would have happened...If I had put the foster dog in her crate, away from our dogs, none of this would have happened.

The truth is, what happened was bound to happen eventually......
AND, I can feel responsible, but i don't have to drown in guilt.

Anyway, Everything was going along fine until today. The heater quit working during the night and the landlord was going to come to the house to fix it. I had already made plans to spend some time with a friend of mine, so I took the dogs for a long walk and figured I would put them in our master bedroom while the landlord was here. That way, they would be calm and less likely to make trouble. I wasn't going to be here..but it would be ok. I couldn't live in fear...Anyway, My friend arrived and I saw that one of the cats was on his perch in the living room so I put the dogs in the bedroom and left.

On the way home, I had this feeling of dread come over my entire spirit. When I got home and opened the door to the bedroom, I saw it...Cat #2, dead on the floor...same type of death...it was then that I realised that I hadn't taken the time to double check and make sure the cat was where he should have been...

I also realised which dog did it....but of course, understanding dog behavior, I couldn't punish the dog as I didn't catch him in the act and he wouldn't understand why he was in trouble. However, the dog must have felt my energy change because he tucked his tail between his legs and actually fell to the side and gave me his belly.

So, you may be wondering what all this has to do with the question Beth Moore posed. It has everything...and this is why.

Up until recently, I had been living in depression...fed by guilt. I "sinned", made some mistakes, but did not forgive myself because others couldn't forgive me.......and that is the worst feeling in the world. In addition, I have been talking to my daughter about second chances, forgiveness and such...

Here I was, face to face with a cold blooded cat killer...a dog that has already bitten one person and killed 2 cats. Do you know how easy it would have been to just put him down? But, what type of forgiveness is that? We adopted this dog knowing he had issues and needed work. Learning is a proces and often, people learn by making mistakes.

So for me, the answer to that question would be this:

What would it be like to know that you sinned but there was no way to be forgiven?
It would be like being the dog that was given up on. The dog that was put to death because his people couldn't look pass the instance instead of teaching him the correct behavior. The dog that was looking for direction and guidance but was handed death instead because it was easier to give up, walk away and not take responsibility for what they promised and pushed through and worked hard to keep the promise that they made. IT would be easier to put the dog to death and blame him for the pain and loss we are feeling...the anger, the sadness, the frustration..all of those emotions...than face the problem head on and know, that with God's strength and the help, prayer and guidance from our friends and family we would be able to work through this and teach this dog what he needed to learn....

For some of you...I know that you would say, it's just a dog....and I don't exect anyone to feel or look upon animals the way we do...but in this situation, what I see is a creature created by God who needed help...and forgivness...

I know a lot of people who want to be forgiven, who preach forgivness...but when they have been hurt....that all goes out the window. I don't want to be that person. I am not that type of person. It's not up to me to be judge and jury...it's my job to keep my word and be an example....no matter how hard that is!!

So now that you have heard my answer to this question, I am interested to know how you would answer it.

My Thought for the day...1/1/2010

My Thought for the day...1/1/2010

by Darci Escandon on Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 3:38am

Ok, so it's 2:43 in the morning of January 2nd not January 1st which makes me a bit late starting, but, as they say, better late than never, right? Late for what you ask? Well, as you know, 2009 was a bittersweet year for me. I finally had to admit to myself that I was going through a rough time. I begged and pleaded with God to get me through things, and with his strength, I did. I'm not saying it was easy in any sense of the word, but my family and I survived and are still surrounded with the love from friends and family that many people only dream about. So what does that have to do with what I am writing to you about? God has placed it in my heart to share these thoughts with you. So, here it goes....Please forgive me as I am sure it may be a rather long read...(Insert warning here...CAUTION, POSSIBLE LONG READ)

everything. I feel that God placed it on my heart that my "New Years resolution" be that I spend 30 minutes every day with him. Uninterupted just me and God time. I was kind of excited about this...I went looking for a new journal and bible study and devotional software...of course I didn't find any nor did I buy anything...I realise now that everything God wants me to learn will come in that 30 minutes a day I sit quietly in his presence.

I don't really need the thoughts and words from a bible study series based on what I think God is trying to say to me...What I need to do is just sit in his presence and let his word guide me to what he wants me to learn. I'm not saying that i don't need to listen to a Beth Moore 6 week session or Creflo Dollar 6 week session on one particular topic, but rather, i need to open my heart, sit down and listen. Let God's words flow through me, into my heart and mind....and that is what I am doing now.

I recognize now that I am restless...because I am not a peace..I am not at peace because I didn't uphold my commitment to God...and now, because I have a concious and I have learned to recognise when I think I feel the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention...I can no longer "blow off" what needs to be done now, until morning so that I can get a few hours of sleep.

Even as i write this to you all, I am feeling more and more at peace. So, without further ado, I would like to share with you, what God has brought to my attention today. It's an article titled "If Teacups Could Talk" ( http://www.libertyonlineministries.com/index.cfm?PID=16021 ) by Kathy Helvey.

The thing that jumped out at me was this paragraph:

"But there is a difference between a cup of tea and life. When we brew tea ourselves, we can put it aside or throw it away if it's not to our liking. That's not so with life's cup of tea. We have to drink it. How we go about swallowing those difficult cups of life depends upon what we know and believe about the nature of our life's "tea strainer."

I had to read more. Why? Because since August, It seems as I have been having to swallow one difficult cup of tea aftear another! Not only that, but over the course of a few years (especially more in the past few months), I find myself wanting to turn to a cup of tea more and more for relaxation and calmness rather than a glass of wine or a beer. A cup of hot Tea has become my "drink of choice" and just yesterday I was telling Leo how much I would like an old fashioned teapot that has the strainer built in so that I can use loose tea...wow...Don't you love how God will plant something in your heart and mind to be used at a later time??

Anyway, I digress..I read the passage part about "A Bitter Brew". Boy, can I relate to the past part of it when the author wrote:

My cup was a very bitter brew, and I didn't like it one bit! There was absolutely no sugar in it, and I certainly didn't relax and enjoy it."

Those 2 sentences perfectly describe and sum up my last 4 months. Well, feelingwise anyway...I had to keep reading...and here it was...my "Woah" moment:

"I am the Lord your God. I go before you, I am with you, and I'll never leave you or fail you. Do not be discouraged or afraid" (Deuteronomy 31:8)."

Do not be discouraged or afraid...wow...I have been both lately...more so afraid, anxious, nervous and ancy than discouraged. The discouragement comes and goes...but it's the anxiety and the fear that seem to be lingering in my mind and soul. In fact, that is what caused me to write this letter rather than try and go back to sleep...so you can imagine how much this verse jumped out at me...it is like God was talking directly to me.

I had to keep reading (there are only 3 more paragraphs left...) I felt like God was reaching out to comfor me. So many different emotions I have been experiencing and a few words in a short article seemed to just put me at ease. It was the promise that you hear about in church...the promise that you hear people talk about on the streets, in coffee shops and on the street...people meaning Christians. The promise of God's love and comfort. Wow...as I have opened up my mind and my heart to God over these past few years...I have learned so much. Just in exploring my own personal relationship with him...not what the church wants me to hear or do or what my Christian friends want me to feel or think...but rather, that personal bond I am developing little by little over time with God. I realise now, why it never happend before and why I was such a sceptic (and for those of you who know me and my story, you know i have not always been a Christian and strong in my faith or belief system). Something happened when I opened up my heart and said ok...let's give this thing a good, honest solid try...afterall, if it isn't as real as they say it is and it doesn't work for me, then what do I have to loose? I won't be any worse off than I was before!!! Anyway, I am rambling now...back to the article..

I read and have to share this paragraph with you:

"Now, will I be discouraged or afraid to drink life's cup at times? Oh yes! But I don't have to be … because now I know and believe in the nature of my life's tea strainer. I also have the confidence that as I drink, even though I can't taste the goodness of it, or understand the why of what's in my cup, in the end I know it will be good for me. I don't have to be discouraged or afraid because it's all been "Father filtered" from a loving, wise, sovereign God."

Life happens. Crap happens. It's not all a bed of roses. Sometimes, life can be just downright ugly. A Bitter cup of tea to swallow. I will feel discouraged, fear, anxiety, depression, sadness, anger, resentment...all these different emotions...I am human afterall. But I like what she said here. IT's like she is saying "I can feel it, but I don't have to be it."

I am not going to live my life with blinders on. Just because I have become a Christian and developed a belief system does not mean that my life will be a bed of roses. Quite the contrary. Nothing has changed in my feelings with the exception of I am now learning to recognize them when they come up rather than just push them down inside and...most importanly...i am learning that i don't have to become what I feel. I don't have to let my emotions rule my life and dictate how I am going to live it. If my life were a teacup, I think it would be one made of fine china....with cracks, chips, faded color, crackled finish, broken handles....BUT...it would still hold the tea...and for me, that tea now, is God's word.

Everyone's tea is different. Not all of us have the same belief system. Not all of us are Christians and i want you to know that I respect that. these thoughts were not set out to save anyones soul or force anything on anyone. But Christian or not, Believer or Not, we all have one thing in common. our lives are all like teacups waiting to be filled with Tea. We will all enjoy hot tea, cold tea, luke warm tea, sweet tea and bitter tea. My question to you is, what kind of tea do you fill your cup with? How do you sweeten it to make it easier to swallow?