Originally written 11/12/2009 09:17:27 AM
2 Timothy 1:7 (New International Version)
7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7 (Amplified Bible)
7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.
I love that. The words of the different versions of the different bibles may be different but meaning is the same. For many years, I have been searching for a verse that I can relate to. There are so many in the Bible for me to choose from and each one of them have great meanings. Something about 2 Timothy 1:7 really jumped out at me.
Balance and discipline and self control have never been something I felt I had within me. In fact, anyone who knows me will say those are 3 facets of my life that don't even exist. HOWEVER, I do know that these are things that are desperately needed in my life in order for me to succeed and be the person God created me to be. There it is, in black and white. The 3 things I spent my life looking for. The 3 gifts I kept insisting I didn't have. The 3 traits I would say never existed in me.
I was wrong. God gave me these items as a gift. He gave them to me and they have been inside of me this whole time. My problem was, I didn't know. I didn't want to know. Knowing would mean that I would need to listen to God. Knowing meant I had to grow spiritually and Knowing meant I had to walk in the word each and every day.
That meant I had to deal with things in me that I didn't want to deal with. It meant that I had to totally see myself through God's eyes. I had to see myself for what I was, what I am and what I can be.
God has given me power over my life. Power of my decisions. Power over my thoughts, Power over my mind. I do not have to fear. I do not have to doubt, I do not have to feel like I'm loosing my mind. What I have to do is believe in myself the way God believes in me. To love myself the way God loves me. To Love others the way God loves me.
I can be successful. I am worth something and I am loved. I think I still battle bouts of depression. I still fail and have my moments...but every day I spend time, just listening to what God is trying to tell me, the more I tend to make better choices...
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
What's on my mind...if God offends you...do not read...
This is something I wrote back in June of 2009...
“DO NOT BE AFRAID”. 4 simple words. Why is it when God has a task for us he always starts things out with “Do Not Be Afraid”? He knows our hearts and he knows that when he gives us a job to do the first thing we are going to do is get nervous and doubtful. Fear keeps so many people from doing so many things. Good things and bad things.
Doing God’s work is usually not the most popular thing with those around me, even if they are believers. Someone once told me that the devil comes on angels wings. I never understood what that meant until recently. The devil does not want me to do God’s work and he has used my love for God to use it against me. When I spend all my time and focus in the church and neglect my family, that puts strain on my family relationships and causes me to push them away. That is exactly what the devil wants to happen. He does not want Christians to be happy nor to have strong relationships.
I never used to believe the devil stuff. I used to feel that people were using the devil as an excuse to not take responsibility for their actions. I think many still do, however I have witnessed firsthand how the devil has worked against me in my life and I know that it is a real threat out there.
Many people who knew me years ago, would probably not even recognize me. I was never a religious person nor was I a peaceful person. I made my choices and there were some pretty bad consequences to those choices. I now see, that the only reason I have survived was truly, by the grace of God. Also, I now see how those experiences are being used to help people out now.
One thing that I have recently heard is just because we don’t see God doing something doesn’t mean that he isn’t. He is always working in our lives. It would be very easy for me to sit back and complain about my past and the bad that was done to me. Yet, what good is that going to do? Why should I complain about things that happened because of my own choices?
God couldn’t mold me into the person he wants me to be until he totally broke me. I had to go through what I did in order for me to be prepared to handle the task at hand. I feel that he has a big task for me and I must admit, I am a bit nervous about it. I don’t feel worthy of it and I don’t feel the confidence in myself that others see. But I also know, that I can be my own worst enemy when I do not rely on God for his strength. I don’t see myself as being any better than anyone else, I just see myself that has been chosen to carry out a job that God has tasked me with.
So, am I going to react in my human form and let the fear keep me from doing what I am going to do or am I going to have faith and turn that fear over to the person that can do something about it.
What would you do?
“DO NOT BE AFRAID”. 4 simple words. Why is it when God has a task for us he always starts things out with “Do Not Be Afraid”? He knows our hearts and he knows that when he gives us a job to do the first thing we are going to do is get nervous and doubtful. Fear keeps so many people from doing so many things. Good things and bad things.
Doing God’s work is usually not the most popular thing with those around me, even if they are believers. Someone once told me that the devil comes on angels wings. I never understood what that meant until recently. The devil does not want me to do God’s work and he has used my love for God to use it against me. When I spend all my time and focus in the church and neglect my family, that puts strain on my family relationships and causes me to push them away. That is exactly what the devil wants to happen. He does not want Christians to be happy nor to have strong relationships.
I never used to believe the devil stuff. I used to feel that people were using the devil as an excuse to not take responsibility for their actions. I think many still do, however I have witnessed firsthand how the devil has worked against me in my life and I know that it is a real threat out there.
Many people who knew me years ago, would probably not even recognize me. I was never a religious person nor was I a peaceful person. I made my choices and there were some pretty bad consequences to those choices. I now see, that the only reason I have survived was truly, by the grace of God. Also, I now see how those experiences are being used to help people out now.
One thing that I have recently heard is just because we don’t see God doing something doesn’t mean that he isn’t. He is always working in our lives. It would be very easy for me to sit back and complain about my past and the bad that was done to me. Yet, what good is that going to do? Why should I complain about things that happened because of my own choices?
God couldn’t mold me into the person he wants me to be until he totally broke me. I had to go through what I did in order for me to be prepared to handle the task at hand. I feel that he has a big task for me and I must admit, I am a bit nervous about it. I don’t feel worthy of it and I don’t feel the confidence in myself that others see. But I also know, that I can be my own worst enemy when I do not rely on God for his strength. I don’t see myself as being any better than anyone else, I just see myself that has been chosen to carry out a job that God has tasked me with.
So, am I going to react in my human form and let the fear keep me from doing what I am going to do or am I going to have faith and turn that fear over to the person that can do something about it.
What would you do?
Thursday, October 14, 2010
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